GMK is turning into a fish. It's nice to have a pool to go to during these hot and humid summer days. When we go, I make her stay in the kiddie pool where I can watch both kids easily. And sometimes, when her daddy takes her she gets to go into the big pool. From our bi-weekly excursions, I know that she loves the water and I've seen her swim (very loose usage of the term "swim") happily by herself with a "floaty" in the big pool.
Today we went to her grandparents' house and used their pool. We forgot her floaty, so I was prepared to hang out on the steps and/or carry her in the water. She, however, showed me that she can actually swim on her own for about 3-4 feet! I was impressed, but at the same time it was so scary. Without warning, she'd just lunge into the water in my general direction, completely expecting me to be ready to catch her. A little stressful. But after about an hour, we were both feeling pretty confident in her abilities and more relaxed.
That's when a bug landed on my shoulder and pinched/bit me. I had a momentary lapse in all judgment and bodily control and swung wildly at this bug that dared to invade my personal space. I can be a big bug wimp. After a few seconds and bug-free, I realized that I had let go of GMK and she was frantically trying to tread water and saying, "Mommy! Mommy!" Uy! I quickly caught her and she was fine, but she clung to me and said, "Mommy, you let go!" I felt like I had completely failed her hearing the fear in her voice. After that, it took a little while for her to get completely comfy in the water again, but she as back to her old tricks within 20 minutes.
After that incident, I couldn't help but think about all the times when I've had a "Britney moment" and just lost all sense of common sense and judgment. Don't get me wrong- it's not often. But the handful of times it happens, it's enough to stay with you to feel guilty over for a lifetime. I am an imperfect person... which makes me an imperfect mother. But I firmly believe that God has His hand on my children, keeping them safe despite my momentary lapses.
5 comments:
yes, indeed. for a mom who is FAR from being perfect, this is a good reminder and comfort.
wow, swimming on her own already?! amazing. did she take lessons? when's a good time to do that? i gotta learn how to swim myself. oi~
one day i will completely understand what you are talking about. :P
ha ha ha.. prooner is funny. oh, how scary on many levels. and the guilt. i've been there and i'm sure there will be many other instances of imperfect mothering on my part.
on the other hand, that's great about GMK swimming! coolio! can't wait to see her in the pool in person!
GMK is indeed a little fishie. I laid down the law for J: she WILL learn to swim this fall. She's sad about it. She is still not over her near drownings last summer. :( :( :( But that's great that G bounced back within 20 min!
sometimes i think we're harder on ourselves as parents than our own kids are of us. thank God for filling our imperfections and loving our kids more than we could ever humanly love them.
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